Diamonds*

On april 20th or so i stumbled across an ebay auction that would change my life. At first i didn't believe that such a deal existed. "A whole briefcase of diamonds* for the low low price of $25 U.S. dollars?" Whoa. So i immediatly bid and subsequently won the briefcase full of diamonds. As soon as the auction closed i waited on pins and needles everyday until the package arrived.

On May 2nd it arrived.

I got home from a grueling day of hard hard work and was ready to take a nap when i noticed a box on my porch. I took it upstairs and opened it.

Here is the package, unopened and waiting to be explored.

Here is the package opened, packing slip exposed. The invoice had "Thanks harper, I hope you like the 'merchandise'" scrawled on it.

Finally the briefcase is exposed. I can't stand the pressure I must open it.

I removed the breifcase from the packaging and opened it. It was all that i had hoped for. The diamonds were so brilliant. I couldn't possibly imagine what life had been like before i had owned diamonds. What had i done????

As you can see in this picture: the diamonds really do look as though they have fire within them.

I honestly couldn't keep my hands off of them.

I was so excited.

While running my hands through the diamonds.. feeling their every beauty, I noticed a miniture CD in the case. i immediately popped it in my DVD player hoping for more instructions on how or what to do with my diamonds. Then i got scared because after a bunch of electronic pops and whistles i was told to give the money back. EEK. at this point i was on the run...

I didn't let the bad news upset me.

I was so excited i took pictures of diamonds on TV. They are so pretty. The ones on TV are not real though.. they totally look different than mine.

Finally, my friend Rachel came over. i showed her the diamonds and gave her the ring and bracelet that came with the diamonds.

She liked the bracelet.

But liked the ring a lot more.

I decided to take the diamonds out on the town to see if i could get a buyer. I noticed that as soon as i got the diamonds i had a very strong urge to sell them. i wonder if this was why Rob got rid of them so quick.

We took the diamonds to a party/art opening where the liquor was free. Rachel and i thought that this would make for a lot of perspective buyers.

Rachel's ring was the hit of the party.

The bracelet was not a hit. Mostly because of the sharp diamond edges. Did you know that diamonds are the worlds sharpest object?!?

Luckily we found Severn, My hairstylist, who is a diamond expert. He suggested we take the diamonds to a bar where a famous diamond connesuir would be.

Off we went. John carried the diamonds because I was tired. They are a lot heavier than you would think. I mean the brilliance of them make the diamonds seem so much lighter than they actually are.

We finally made it to the bar. I immediately slammed the diamonds onto the counter and demanded that the "Diamond Man" look at them.

Well, Severn had been right. The man at the Prodigal Son was into diamonds. He snatched them up as quick as could be. He even let rachel keep her ring. So nice. he paid immediatly and didn't hesitate.

After making the deal, we purchased Pabst Blue Ribbon beer for EVERYONE. It was a magical time.

We even were able to afford corn dogs with our new found wealth.

...and more PBR!!!